Therapists Are Human Too

We often forget that therapists are human too.

Yes, we are trained to remain objective and maintain healthy boundaries, but that doesn’t mean we are emotionally detached. We care deeply about the people we work with. We may laugh with you, worry about you, feel proud of your progress, and sometimes even secretly dislike the person who hurt you. That care is part of what makes therapy meaningful.

Here are a few things I wish more people knew about therapists:

1. You are the expert on yourself. We may be trained in theories and therapeutic approaches, but you know yourself better than anyone. And while you may learn from us, we learn from you too. Every client reminds me of the incredible resilience and wisdom people carry.

2. We genuinely want what’s best for you. We don't take sides, because we only hear your perspective. But we can still recognize when you've been hurt or treated unfairly. We can hold space for your experience without judging the people in your life.

3. Sometimes we wish we could do more.We may think about you after a session or wish we could find a magic solution to a systemic issue, but we also have to respect the boundaries and limitations of our role. We can't fix everything, and we're not meant to.

4. Sometimes we really like you!You might have a personality, sense of humour, or interests that we genuinely connect with. We may even think, “If we had met somewhere else, we could have been friends.” But therapy requires clear boundaries due to power imbalance. Protecting that therapeutic relationship is part of caring for you.

5. Our personal experiences don't belong in your therapy. We may occasionally share something personal, but only when it benefits you. Therapy isn't about making you responsible for our emotions or experiences. It is a privilege to be able to support people in their most vulnerable moments.

6. Our goal isn't to keep you forever.Good therapy should help you become more confident in navigating life on your own. If you no longer need therapy, I'm going to celebrate that with you. Therapy isn't about creating dependence, it's about building capacity. 

7. You might eventually hear your therapist's voice in your head. Hopefully, that's a good thing! Maybe you catch yourself thinking, “What would my therapist say right now?” That's often a sign that you're beginning to internalize the tools and compassion you've developed in therapy.

8. Needing help doesn't make you broken. Many therapists entered this profession because mental health and healing have touched their own lives in some way. Asking for support isn't a weakness. It takes courage to be vulnerable with someone you've just met.

9. We notice when you disappear.We understand that life happens, and sometimes people aren't ready to continue therapy. But when a client suddenly stops coming, we may still wonder how they're doing. When possible, a closing session can provide space to reflect, review your progress, and offer feedback.

10. Sometimes we won't laugh at the joke.Humour can be an amazing coping strategy, but sometimes it can also help us avoid uncomfortable emotions. You might be hilarious, but part of our job is gently noticing when humour is keeping you from connecting with what you're actually feeling.

11. You don't have to like us all the time.Therapy can bring up anger, frustration, disappointment, and other difficult emotions. That's okay. You're not there to make us happy. Sometimes those reactions can actually give us important information about your relationships and experiences.

12. We love the little details.The story about your friend, the random meme, the ridiculous thing your coworker said… It all helps us understand you. Sometimes the seemingly insignificant details tell us the most.

13. You aren't paying us to care. You pay for our time, training, experience, knowledge, and professional services. But caring about you isn't something we turn on because the session starts. We are human beings who chose a profession because we care about people.

At the end of the day, therapists are our own tools. We bring our knowledge, training, emotional regulation, empathy, humanity, and authenticity into the room.

We aren't robots and we shouldn't be. We might laugh with you. We might worry about you. We might feel proud of you. And we will continue to hold the boundaries that make therapy a safe space for you to be fully yourself.

That's the balance: being human while creating a space where you don't have to hide your own humanity.